Sunday, April 10, 2022

Here Monkey Monkey Monkey...



Ubud is a jungle city full of intrigue... and Macaque monkeys. When we booked our rental house, we knew the jungle would be a part of our experience. They openly warn you that you will have lizards in the open concept house and various animals will cross the elaborate gardens, maybe even a monkey or two. But what you don't realize is that the monkeys will be walking down the street, like a stray dog, brushing past your leg as if they too were looking for a cute summer dress from one of the many charming stores. At one point a large male Macaque was sitting on the curb, as my family and I were approaching this smaller section of sidewalk, the monkey looks at us, takes in the situation and scoots on his butt further out toward the road allowing us more space to pass. As if to say "oh sorry guys, let me move". The interaction was small, but so human like it was shocking. 

My family is very into seeing monkeys. We were disappointed when we were on the Island of Nusa Penida and told that the monkeys were everywhere all the time and then didn't see any, anywhere. Finally on our last day there, we saw some monkeys climbing trees next to our hotel room. We were really excited! A few days later we drove into Ubud and saw monkeys running across the street, climbing poles and scattered in trees. We were shouting excitedly and pointing in every direction much to the dismay of our taxi driver. Now this was "everywhere"! We settled into our gorgeous, dream of a house, fed the koi in our private koi pond, watched little geckos play beside our private swimming pool and immediately left the oasis to seek out the Monkey Forest. I'm telling you, we really wanted to see monkeys!

The Ubud Monkey Forest is an easy walk from our rented house. It is actually an ancient temple site and jungle forest that is protected as a sanctuary and now monkey park. The monkeys are wild and run free, encouraged to be friendly from the treat giving guides and are used to people as Ubud is usually packed with many tourists. Our first experience at the Forest was ideal. The space is absolutely gorgeous, it takes your breath away. Massive trees form a canopy overhead and bright green moss covers everything. The detailed carvings of the temples are exquisite and regal, rich in history and storytelling. AND there are monkeys everywhere you look. In fact you need to be really careful you don't step on one! The blissful excitement of your first interaction with a monkey is exhilarating and the guides make sure to get the perfect photo op for you. Meandering the beautiful paths, you duck as babies jump over your head, not yet practiced enough to clear you with "safe space" for either of you. They lounge in the way, draped over anything they can hold onto and are always with an eager eye to pickpocket. We actually watched as a monkey swiped a packet of antiseptic wipes from a woman's pocket and ate them. Not sure that was good for the monkey, but there was no way anyone was going to tell it no with those giant fangs. 2 hours later, we emerged from the forest with hundreds of photos and delightful tales to tell family back at home. 2 days later we decided we MUST have more monkey experiences and traveled outside of Ubud to the Sangeh Monkey Forest. Another sacred site with some of the oldest temples on the island and a special forest of trees now only found in this protected area. The reviews and websites were limited in descriptions other than to say it would be a more "interactive" experience and that these monkeys, still Macaques, were wilder than those at the Ubud Monkey Forest that see tourists all the time. Boy was that an understatement.

The drive to Sangeh is a beautiful one and allows you to see the countryside. When we arrived at the site, our taxi driver, and new friend, told us the guides would take it from there, he stayed in the car. An odd choice I thought at the time. The place was completely empty except for myself, my husband and our teenage daughter. Being that we are quite literally the very first tourists to Bali (other than Indonesians traveling on vacation) we have encountered people overly eager to have work. The 2 year pandemic shutdown has been particularly cruel to Bali so we weren't surprised that for a party of 3, we had 2 guides. It seemed over kill, but then again, we really want to give money to as many locals as possible. Within minutes a large family of monkeys appeared at the entrance to the temple, a grand and elegant structure that echoed the grace of the mile high trees stretching up to the Gods it seemed. Seeing the monkeys, we all quickly readied our camera apps. As I looked up from my phone, as a very large male monkey came running, not sauntering quickly, CHARGING, at my husband! It reached him before anyone had a chance to contemplate what was about to happen, and within 2 hand grasps had scaled him and sat proudly on my husband, Jesse's shoulder. In typical Jesse fashion, he didn't even flinch. I snapped pictures in a nervous stream from my safe 6 foot distance. Then out of nowhere, this big 'ol monkey leapt from Jesse onto my head. On to my HEAD! Shocked, frightened and crushed by the new weight, I bent forward to which the monkey responded with grabbing my forehead with its, oddly soft, creepy hands!  The guides were by our side and working to keep only the one monkey "playing with us" and the others at a distance. Just as suddenly as I was attacked, the monkey jumped the 8 feet onto my daughter! Shrieks of surprise swirled with nervous laughter as we tried to lure this crazy monkey off of her. Realizing the "fun" was maybe too much for us, the guides stepped up their interference. Unfortunately not well enough. As soon as we were starting to catch our breath, another large male seemed to appear from out of thin air and ran up the back of my daughter and perched on her head. This time there were screams of terror. We can all laugh about it now, but at the time the surprise attack from behind was brutal. Then as quickly as the monkey had appeared on my daughter's head, it jumped onto mine, again holding onto my forehead. There is something extra icky about having dirty monkey hands on your face. The craziest part of this is the absolutely distinct feeling that the monkey is 100% in charge. You can not touch the monkey, the monkey can touch you though. You can not look the monkey in the eye and you for sure for sure can not pull a monkey off of someone. The guides did their best to lure the monkey off with treats and eventually the threat of a slingshot got it to dismount. Their strength and agility, their spontaneous reactions and fiercely long  sharp teeth all let you know that they are the ones in charge and really are only allowing you to be in their space for as long as they decide to. 

We continued the tour of the Forest with the 2 guides (now we could see why you needed 2, one at the front and one at the back, both working overtime to keep the monkeys from attacking us), and I tried to enjoy it. At one point, the path twisted through the shadows of the immense trees. The moss shimmering over the stones made them almost glow, while the threat of evil flying monkeys still had my heart racing, it all combined to make me feel like I was in a live rendition of The Wizard of Oz. 

As we climbed into the true safety of the air conditioned car and I could stop my hands from shaking, the taxi driver explained that this was the reason he stayed in the car. Smart man. 

Another 2 days passed and my family was ready for another monkey adventure... just maybe not the kind on steroids. They planed for another entry into the Ubud Monkey Forest with the chill monkeys. Still racked with fear and accosted with monkey nightmares, I walked them to the gates, said goodbye and took my PTSD ass to a cafe. During my 1 hour coffee break, monkeys came from all sides attempting to enter the cafe, much to the annoyance of the owner. 2 managed to enter and walk past my table, looking for an easy item to snatch. I was really glad I'd skipped ordering food. At another point I watched as a group of young travelers stopped on the sidewalk and circled around a crying girl who had just been robbed by one of the monkeys, her shock and fear apparent from my seat across the street. All I could think to myself was 'these monkey f*cking suck'. Clearly I'd had a change of heart.

My daughter and husband emerged from the Forest hot and tired. I enthusiastically asked how it went, I am a mom after all, I am used to stuffing my own feelings in order to support my daughter's. She made an ambivalent moan and said it was a good thing I didn't go in. Turns out the monkey that came to sit on her lap, sat on her arm leaving not only poop, but also butt blood. Considering the amount of monkey rape you see while visiting the Monkey Forest, this isn't a surprise per se, but a most unpleasant gift to be left with. Luckily they have sinks easily accessible. Follow that with a juvenile approaching, putting its hand on my daughter's arm, to which she giggled at the cuteness of the situation and it responded with hissing and showing its horrible teeth only inches from her face. I'm grateful no one has been bit... yet.

ya, what I said 'these f*cking monkeys suck'.

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