Think of All The Beauty...

A year ago my family rang in the new year with glasses of bubbly and hopes for a happy, adventure filled 2025. It is astonishing now to think back to that time. We had zero idea we would be living in another country, having given up literally everything, and be reinventing ourselves a year later. This New Year's Eve, as we clanged plastic glasses filled with Cava together, hurriedly ate green grapes, and laughed until happy tears brimmed in our eyes, we are in awe of our new lives. 

I last left all of you in tears outside the hospital. A lot has happened since then...but also not much has happened. We almost found our long term apartment, have jumped into Spain taxes, and embraced our new futbol team (which is Barça, not because of Barcelona city, but because we live in the province of Barcelona, in Catalonia). You might be asking 'did you get your health card?' or maybe you are wondering 'what happened to the apartment?' or, and I have a packed list of DMs on this one "what is it like living in Spain?!?' I have been wanting to respond, but honestly it is hard to get all of the taxes done, work remotely, get new job opportunities rolling, have siestas, drink amazing cheap wines, eat delicious food and sit in the sunshine AND respond to everyone's messages. Ha ha ha ha, I know, you hate me. I would too.

I swear there really are hard things about giving away all your worldly possessions, upending your entire life and moving across the world, but I can't lie, the longer I am in Spain, in Sitges specifically, I love it more and more, I am happier than ever, and I have zero want to return to the USA. 

Honestly, I really did not expect it to be like this. Even during the hard times like finding the perfect apartment, getting to it before the million other people did, and start shopping for furniture only to have them surprise you with a 40,000 euro banknote claus, or having to pay one type of taxes every month and different quarterly taxes while also living on a decreased salary and paying rent while concurrently paying a mortgage in the USA, or that the lack of my medication and no health card in sight is causing painful Rheumatoid Arthritis flares... I am still impossibly happy.

I wake late in the morning, the sun shining with low cool tones of a winter hue. I sip my coffee and am grateful for the French Press we got ourselves for Christmas, a small luxury when you are broke. I stroll to spanish class and marvel at seeing the sea everyday. The beautiful Mediterranean Sea is Sitges blue, a shade impossible to single out, but lives somewhere between royal blue, cobalt, and azure. Emotions bubble up every single time I crest the grand marble steps in front of the medieval church, a symbol of Sitges. Descending the stairs, there is an elegantly tiled promenade lined with palm trees that hugs the beach and begs you to slow down, take a deep breath of the clean, mineral air and swoon. Charming cobbled stone streets wind through the city center. Cafes line the street and spill out into the walkway clawing at your willpower to join the happy faces watching the people pass by. This is where I live. This is my new life. 

And... also our apartment is too expensive and not great, I still don't have health care, and my spanish sucks, not that that matters because everyone is speaking Catalan anyway. This should be the earmarks of a miserable existence, but it isn't. I am celebrating 4 months in Sitges and yet it feels like I've never been anywhere else. 

There are still plenty of tears as I navigate a new country, but there are more and more times that are due to a cascade of emotion. Like when the sun sets hot pink woven with violet purple, so stunning it made my heart drop into my stomach. Or when the local florist puts new flowers out, electric with shades of yellow, magenta, orange, indigo and every shade of green you can imagine, so delightful that I am dizzy with synesthesia. Or when my daughter doesn't know I am watching her as she gazes out over our town from our favorite wine spot, her red hair gently blowing in the breeze and a look of true tranquility on her face, and it takes my breath away. 

It has taken a series of unfortunate events to bring us here, forced us to make drastic choices, yet the outcome has been bigger and better than our 2025 cheers could have ever dreamt. Pain and fear has given way to beauty and I am so grateful. 

"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy" - Anne Frank