Sunday, March 1, 2026

The Impossible Made Possible

The church bells toll only a few hundred feet from my home, but somehow they aren't an invasive sound. My mind travels back to a village in Columbia that we'd spent a month in where the clang of the church bells there was anything but enjoyable and rang so loud you could feel it in your bones. But today, in Spain, I hear the bells and feel serenity.

Serenity has been a little hard to find over the recent months. The search for a "forever" home was full of stress, doubt, worry and a little more stress on top. The housing shortage you hear about is legit, it just isn't quite what you think it is. Spain doesn't hate tourists, yes there were those few instances of water guns being used, but mostly the people of Spain are incredibly kind and loving people. The problem comes from a mess of laws that suddenly turned long term rentals with their rent caps and renters rights, into short term fluctuating priced Airbnbs. This translates to most places being rented for 11 months max, a hefty tax added on and being at the mercy of the landlords arbitrary price gauging during the highly sought after summer months. So if you are not a tourist and don't want to move every few months and also want to live in the city and on a budget of any kind, you are totally screwed. That is why people are pissed. As an example, our rent would be 1,600 euro/ mo + utilities until June when it would sky rocket. Our landlord offered the discounted rate of 4,500 euro/ mo because he liked us. That apartment will now be listed for 6,500 euro/ mo for June, July, August, and September. And it is not a spectacular apartment.

Paying a mortgage back in the USA and paying rent here in Spain not only stretched our bank accounts thin, but our ability to cope. Add the stress of looking for a rental that would be long term and didn't totally suck we had a combination that was almost going to break us. I was on all the websites and in all the FaceBook groups, we had several realtors on the prowl for us and looked at every apartment I could even if they didn't fit our needs. A recently renovated apartment with a huge balcony was tempting, but our adult daughter would have had to live in a closet. I kid you not, the owner justified that it was a 2 bedroom because technically you could fit a twin sized mattress in the closet. Another amazing option was a place that had a to die for balcony, several bedrooms and lots of natural light, but had a walled in kitchen that was so narrow and small that it had zero counter space and you could hardly open the fridge door all the way. I actually became claustrophobic standing in there with Jess. Then, at one point, we found a true gem of a place, we had a verbal agreement and I was measuring rooms so we could furnish it, when the owner came up with a tricky claus... you need to put 40,000 euro in a bank account that will have a hold on it and work as collateral to protect the owner. Is any of this legal? No not really, but there is also nothing you can do about it. What probably happened is that she decided to rent to someone else, probably someone that is Catalan. In case you were wondering, no I do NOT have 40,000 euros just laying around.

Jess was at the point that he wondered if he needed to return to the USA so that we could afford this transition. Our daughter and I could rent a tiny place and we could try getting Jess back over here down the road. Everyone was emotional and it started to feel like the wheels were coming off the bus. And then Jess bumped into our neighbors in the lobby. They had just come from looking at a place that was too big for them, but they thought would be great for us. It was unlisted, in the historic city center, and a reasonable rent with a long term lease. It was too good to be true. We didn't waste a single second, Jess went to go look at it while our daughter and I attended Spanish class. By the end of class I had an eager text to go meet him. He walked us through the twisting cobblestone streets behind the iconic Sitges church to an arched doorway in a stone wall. 

An aside: You know that game where you visit somewhere and you fantasize about what it would be like to live there? You pick the very best street and design what kind of home would make it the most magical. You definitely play at scenarios of which cafe or little market would be "yours". I have always loved this game, especially when I visit Europe. But could it become a reality?

Suddenly I found myself walking into a building that was built in 1901. The heavy latched windows stood open so you could gaze into the charming historic street. A large room, perfect for an office, welcomed us. Up the first twisting flight was the bedrooms and bathrooms full of hardwood floors and quirky charm. Another twisting flight up was the living room and kitchen. The kitchen was huge and even had a window that when you pushed back the shutters you were enveloped in a dazzling view of the tiled rooftops toward the church steeple. The living room balcony drew me to it and I simply had to step out, lean over the railing and relive my childhood fantasy of being a princess in a castle. Up a final twisting flight took us out onto a large rooftop terrace. The view spanned the historic city center and down toward the sea on the other side. It was incredible. Soooo...what's the catch?

Unbelievably there was no catch. It was ours for the taking. Sometimes luck is on your side and everything just comes together. We signed papers and received the quintessential skeleton key that screams 'I live in a castle!'. Our new home is steps from our very favorite section of the city. While surrounded by museums, we also have a wine shop next door and a cluster of cafes and shops around the corner. The very best shopping street, oozing with cuteness, is seconds from our front door and our favorite beach is a 3 min walk. Every day I fall more and more in love with this oddly cozy, stone tower, aka El Torre. Having a long term contract has removed the strain of wondering if we will be on the street soon, but has also given us a space to really connect with. Over the last 6 months my daughter and I moved 3 times. Definitely not the way to feel connected to a place. It has been a lot.

So it's all great now? You might ask. Well, no, not exactly, but getting there. We are in financial stress still. I have a social security number here and get to pay monthly taxes, yay! We are navigating the forever paperwork and are getting closer to the elusive Health Card where I will finally get to see a doctor and get my dwindling medications sorted out. Jess is trying to balance managing the winery from afar with settling in here and our daughter is juggling finishing her film certificate remotely while also jumpstarting a career. We've gathered that Catalan is actually the language we should be learning, but can't even contemplate that yet. For now, we will just try to master the Barca game chant sung everytime the team scores a goal. We can't go for lavish meals, but now have 5 markets we like for different reasons... that one for fruit, that one for meat, that one for spicy peppers you can't get anywhere else. We don't have a car or a scooter, so we go everywhere on foot and take the train to neighboring cities. We line dry our clothes which means they are always a little damp, watch tv in spanish and have embraced sobremesa (the mandatory hangout at the table after a meal for another drink and relaxed chat time). We have made a few friends and finally know where important placas are even though everyone seems to have a different name for them. We sleep in and stay up late. We don't take naps daily, but siesta is mandatory for the entire town and is a quiet time to rest, we take full advantage of that. Maybe the biggest difference from living in the USA and making this feel great is that we no longer hurry. Strolling to your destination is part of the enjoyment of going out... even if that destination is the dreaded Padron. 

Friday, January 16, 2026

Think of All The Beauty...

A year ago my family rang in the new year with glasses of bubbly and hopes for a happy, adventure filled 2025. It is astonishing now to think back to that time. We had zero idea we would be living in another country, having given up literally everything, and be reinventing ourselves a year later. This New Year's Eve, as we clanged plastic glasses filled with Cava together, hurriedly ate green grapes, and laughed until happy tears brimmed in our eyes, we are in awe of our new lives. 

I last left all of you in tears outside the hospital. A lot has happened since then...but also not much has happened. We almost found our long term apartment, have jumped into Spain taxes, and embraced our new futbol team (which is Barça, not because of Barcelona city, but because we live in the province of Barcelona, in Catalonia). You might be asking 'did you get your health card?' or maybe you are wondering 'what happened to the apartment?' or, and I have a packed list of DMs on this one "what is it like living in Spain?!?' I have been wanting to respond, but honestly it is hard to get all of the taxes done, work remotely, get new job opportunities rolling, have siestas, drink amazing cheap wines, eat delicious food and sit in the sunshine AND respond to everyone's messages. Ha ha ha ha, I know, you hate me. I would too.

I swear there really are hard things about giving away all your worldly possessions, upending your entire life and moving across the world, but I can't lie, the longer I am in Spain, in Sitges specifically, I love it more and more, I am happier than ever, and I have zero want to return to the USA. 

Honestly, I really did not expect it to be like this. Even during the hard times like finding the perfect apartment, getting to it before the million other people did, and start shopping for furniture only to have them surprise you with a 40,000 euro banknote claus, or having to pay one type of taxes every month and different quarterly taxes while also living on a decreased salary and paying rent while concurrently paying a mortgage in the USA, or that the lack of my medication and no health card in sight is causing painful Rheumatoid Arthritis flares... I am still impossibly happy.

I wake late in the morning, the sun shining with low cool tones of a winter hue. I sip my coffee and am grateful for the French Press we got ourselves for Christmas, a small luxury when you are broke. I stroll to spanish class and marvel at seeing the sea everyday. The beautiful Mediterranean Sea is Sitges blue, a shade impossible to single out, but lives somewhere between royal blue, cobalt, and azure. Emotions bubble up every single time I crest the grand marble steps in front of the medieval church, a symbol of Sitges. Descending the stairs, there is an elegantly tiled promenade lined with palm trees that hugs the beach and begs you to slow down, take a deep breath of the clean, mineral air and swoon. Charming cobbled stone streets wind through the city center. Cafes line the street and spill out into the walkway clawing at your willpower to join the happy faces watching the people pass by. This is where I live. This is my new life. 

And... also our apartment is too expensive and not great, I still don't have health care, and my spanish sucks, not that that matters because everyone is speaking Catalan anyway. This should be the earmarks of a miserable existence, but it isn't. I am celebrating 4 months in Sitges and yet it feels like I've never been anywhere else. 

There are still plenty of tears as I navigate a new country, but there are more and more times that are due to a cascade of emotion. Like when the sun sets hot pink woven with violet purple, so stunning it made my heart drop into my stomach. Or when the local florist puts new flowers out, electric with shades of yellow, magenta, orange, indigo and every shade of green you can imagine, so delightful that I am dizzy with synesthesia. Or when my daughter doesn't know I am watching her as she gazes out over our town from our favorite wine spot, her red hair gently blowing in the breeze and a look of true tranquility on her face, and it takes my breath away. 

It has taken a series of unfortunate events to bring us here, forced us to make drastic choices, yet the outcome has been bigger and better than our 2025 cheers could have ever dreamt. Pain and fear has given way to beauty and I am so grateful. 

"Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy" - Anne Frank