And Then There was Just Me

 

This is a photo of me & my daughter at the Tate Modern in London. 

My husband refused to go.

Back to school time is always a little melancholy for me. Having an only child shifts that parent child dynamic and having our daughter go off to college has definitely left a void. 

OK OK I will come clean, our daughter is attending the college in town near us and still lives at home. I don't have any right to be so dramatic when other parents are flying across the country to drop their kids off. But I swear it is still an adjustment and it is still time to reassess who I am, what I want, and where I am going. There also seems to be a little bit of who-the-hell-is-this-guy-I-live-with about my husband. I mean has he always taken two naps in front of the TV every night? Has he always walked away in the middle of me telling him something? Did I not catch these things because our daughter was there picking up the slack? The answer is yes. After all she is wickedly funny and endlessly entertaining which is distracting. She listens with interest to what I say and asks me probing questions. It is easy to focus my attention there instead of on the guy ignoring me.

So now I have "time" to deal with. I'm not used to time alone in the house. I travel a lot so my alone time is on the road. At first I hated it, I felt awkward sitting by myself in a restaurant, and I felt silly when I did a touristy thing alone because I felt like everyone was sad for me. Or maybe they thought I was crazy because I think I am funny and crack myself up... even when I am alone. Over time I realized it was simply tragic to not make the most of my trips and I started taking myself out on dates! One of my all time favorite dates was in Berlin, Germany, which included taking multiple trains to an Italian restaurant and seeing an opera, alone. Maybe some of you are the adventurous types and travel solo is no big deal, but for me, I was a wimp traveling without my husband who is my foreign country guide. But on this one trip, I just jumped in and was so shocked at how amazing I am at dates! I got to order anything I wanted at dinner, no sharing, no compromise, and no limitations. Then I saw my favorite opera, Madame Butterfly. My husband isn't the biggest fan of opera, well I guess he isn't the biggest fan of theatre, in fact after we saw Wicked on Broadway, he said "I think I am just over live performances". Do you need to read that again? Ya, I was flabbergasted as well. As a BFA Theatre major, I took it personally. I bet everyone can already picture how many times I have quoted that back to him over the years. 

    "Honey can you throw a load of bike stuff in the washer for me?" 

    with a Cheshire Cat grin I respond "You know, I think I am just over doing your laundry". 

Anyway, I digress. So I got to enjoy my favorite opera without anyone fidgeting in their chair next to me. I took the train back to my hotel, in the dark (gasp!) and managed the whole thing confidently. The next day I spoke to my husband on the phone. He expected the usual homesick routine I had had on previous trips, but instead I was elated! I said I was having a great time and wasn't ready to come home yet. Luckily I have the most supportive and loving husband on the planet. He knew exactly what I meant by that and his response was to be overjoyed and proud of me. He is pretty awesome, even if he hates theatre. 

So here I am now, sitting in the house... by myself. 

Whoa. 

There is literally nothing new or exciting to "visit" in my house. There is also a very limited number of operas happening at my house. It is just me, sitting awkwardly by myself, thinking how sad I must look.

*** I have to add that my husband has sat through 4 seasons of the Colorado Shakespeare Festival plays (lifetime points earned for that) and recently went with me to see The Book of Mormons in London, England and he LOVED that so there is still hope for him.

Hello From the Other Side!

Look! Jess and I found a real Fern between us! LOL!

Holy cow, where does the time go?!? Most of you were tracking with me as I did the "Fueled by Vivac: Emotional Sanitizer Wine Show" with our winery Vivac Winery through the pandemic and subsequent years later. That allowed me to be super lazy on the blog front. Realizing, mostly because people keep asking where I've been, I need to start writing again. 

Speaking of writing, I have been lucky enough to have regular pieces being published in Edible Magazine the last couple years spotlighting wineries around New Mexico, my favorite travel spots, and fun pairings. I have enjoyed teaching a variety of wine classes and lectures at big conferences, beautiful homes, our winery, over zoom and over seas! I have also had the incredible honor of being chosen to join the prestigious Association of Wine Educators membership. 

Judging has continued to take me on fantastic adventures, the most recent was a coveted seat at the International Wine Challenge in London, England. It was an intense experience and I hope I impressed them with my skills enough to be invited back, fingers crossed! I took my family with me on that trip and we definitely made the most out of it. 12 days touring London, a jaunt to Scotland and one to Ireland rounded out our 6 weeks in the UK. We even got down to the incredible wine region of Sussex which was filled with astoundingly good wines and the most glorious fields of bluebells.

In between the work and travel, I had a hysterectomy. It was the best thing in the world for me and I still celebrate every month that I am without that angry beast of a uterus. My RA is still a thing. I did have some of my meds reduced so that is a great direction to go, but I still need to be careful with myself. Too much stress, over working or pushing my body will result in a full blown flareup. Those that don't know what an RA flareup is, imagine you have the beginning signs of the flu. Exhausted, chills, aches, headache, feel sick to your stomach, then add INSIDE your joints it hurts really really bad and there is no way to alleviate it. The other part is that RA is an auto immune disease meaning my body thinks it should attack itself instead of any virus or bug I come in contact with so if someone has a cold (or covid) near me, I have a greater probability of catching it. Also the drugs that help the RA tell my body to stop attacking itself... by stopping my immune reaction... that means I'm doubling down on the 'I'll catch that' part of this.  Anyway, I am grateful I am doing as well as I am and I will leave it at that. 

The winery continues to grow and do fabulously. We had a great review recently in an article written by a wine critic who has a reputation for being hard to please. We put in a new section of vineyard, 3 acres in front of my house so I am almost living my dream, I just need the big black wide brimmed hat and someone to bring me martinis. Denali turned 18 which has a whole set of complicated emotions for mom. She is finishing the full length film she took a gap year to create and starts at UNM Taos as a Film Major in just 2 weeks! Jess had his 30 year high school reunion, has been biking as much as possible and hasn't broken ribs, sliced open his hand or fallen off anything in weeks! oh, wait, he did just fall hard trying to unload the truck. What can I say, crush crushes him every year. 

Next up is being a panel speaker at the CAB Symposium in Paso Robles, CA at the end of October/ early November! I am thrilled to have been asked to speak along side Master Somm Michael Jordan (no not that one, the wine guy) at this conference dedicated to Bordeaux varietals. After that, we shall see. I have a couple things in the works that I am hoping work out, if they do, it will be big news, if they don't, well... I might have to change my name and move to Antartica.

Have a subject you want me to write about? Message me @winefirst / @winefirstsomm on social media!