Time to Celebrate!

I wanted to write about our adventure in Santa Fe, a staycation mixed with work at the International Food, Wine and Travel Writers Association (IFWTWA). I wanted to tell you about the incredible contacts we made, but everything has been obliterated by my recent MRI.

Here is where the sappy me floods the page with how meaningful life is. I can feel my teenage daughter rolling her eyes even as I type, but it is true! My struggle with a pituitary tumor (that's located in your head people. Don't worry I didn't know that in the beginning either) started a little over 4 years ago when symptoms riddled my body and sent my doctor on a wild goose chase trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Most people would panic when the news came that they had a brain tumor, and believe me there were a lot of tears, but I was also so relieved that we found the cause, that I exclaimed "Great! When can we pluck that baby out?!?". I know, a surprising reaction, you should have seen my doctor's jaw hit the floor.

Cut to (hahaha that is unfortunate language to use there) months and months of specialists and brain surgeons and the 'We need to wait till it gets bigger to ensure a successful surgery' while my symptoms were getting worse and worse and worse until I was spending more time in bed than I was on my feet, managing the pain with medical marijuana card benefits, and preparing for the worst, and then a miracle happened. My doctor urged me to go see a specialist that doesn't take my insurance and pay out of pocket, a big ask with me hardly working. I stepped into her office and she instantly got it. She consoled me as I explained the agony I was in and that the surgeons weren't moving fast enough. She understood how dire this was and she suggested we try something extremely out of the ordinary, a drug that they administer to people for a horrible fungal infection, but that has the side effect of greatly lowering cortisol levels. Cortisol is the mega beast you know of as the "stress hormone" and while we usually ignore it, this tumor had my body creating insane amounts of it...and that created all my symptoms. She explained the risks, we would need to monitor my liver and other organ functions every couple of weeks and I wouldn't be able to drink even a drop of alcohol during the 4 months we'd attempt this wacky treatment.

I'll let that sink in for a moment. I, me, the wine obsessed woman writing this. The woman who's job it is, is to drink, would not have even a sip for 4 months. I said yes before she could finish her sentence. I needed help in a bad way and this was a life line.

Within only a few weeks, I was able to better manage my pain levels. I had nausea, but wasn't constantly on the verge of vomiting (that was with my CBD/ THC tincture, without it, I was on the bathroom floor), and within a couple months, I was even getting my life back! Another unfortunate side effect of having massive levels of cortisol saturating my body for so long was that it greatly compromised all the tendons and ligaments in my body. That meant that seemingly banal actions resulted in a catastrophic ankle sprain followed by a dislocated shoulder. Side note: why do they call any level of ankle sprain a 'sprain'? Doesn't it sound like something small, insignificant? Well this should have been called a sprake, cause it would have been easier if I'd broken my ankle than 'sprained' it. 2 ligaments blown completely out, 2 tendons badly torn and the muscle up my calf that attaches to the shin pulling away...evidently that is the true site of the 'sprain' and the rest was gravy. My husband actually managed to pop my shoulder back in himself, after watching YouTube videos, while I moaned in pain, but there was damage to the tendons and ligaments as well as muscle there too. Amazingly, I didn't complain, I happily limped my way to activities and soaked in the feeling that the rest of my body was on the mend. I outline those injuries in order to give you an idea of just how intense it was to be feeling better finally. I could cry right now just writing those words, but I will try not to create a scene in the coffee shop.

So where are we at now? Well, that drug, or maybe the continued use of cannabis (they have studied the positive effects of cannabis on brain tumors), caused the tumor to spontaneously shrink! Something they never see, these tumors become inactive and they grow, but they don't shrink. As of this newest MRI, it was gone. Getting that news was truly powerful. I didn't realize how much stress and worry I had been living with, the fear it would all come back. But now, I feel like I can relax, take a deep breath and pour a giant glass of wine. I'm grateful to everyone that road along with me on that crazy journey, I hope to have this be the last of the "brain" blogs I write.

Cheers and no matter what life brings you...Wine First!