Fly Me Away

How do I keep finding myself in scheisse situations?!? Oh right, it sucks to fly anymore and that seems to be all I'm ever doing.
This post is brought to you by the Paris airport where I have been stuck for 10 hours after previously being stuck in Salt Lake City airport for 8 hours. With jet lag.

Do you remember that song Meg Ryan sang in "French Kiss" the movie? 'I hate Paris in the Spring time, I hate Paris in the Fall...' ya, that is me right now. Sweltering in their insanely hot waiting area, with a bird circling nearby getting ready to scheisse on my head. How the hell did the bird get in here anyway? Even the bird can't fly out of this stupid airport. Want to escape the heat? Sure, go shopping at Hermes or Burberry or spend $1000 on a glass of wine at the posh bar where they best the "Russian Face" with an exaggerated frown and annoyed eye roll. I mean at least Russian Face was accompanied with a hearty chuckle and friendly exchange. Can you tell I'm sour? I probably fit in.

Denim (my kiddo) and I opt for a French Cafe that is a bit more reasonable and a hell of a lot more comfortable in order to angerly type out our gripe on our computers; my kiddo is a writer and likes to channel any experience into novels. My 1st vent is to Delta Airlines who has jacked us out of a full day of our vacation by trapping us at the Salt Lake City Airport and then at Paris. They seriously do not care about this by-the-way, just in case you were thinking I was over reacting, each of the 20,000 employees I have now pleaded with has smiled that I've-been-trained-to-make-this-face-but-don't-care look. Nothing makes me crazier than poor customer care, that is probably why I try so hard with our business to right a situation. I mean I KNOW it isn't that specific person's fault that the plane needed a part or weather made them cancel a flight, but if you look me in the eye and swear you have us taken care of, seats are booked, and then they are not, we are screwed and you are nonchalant about it, well... I can't be held responsible for my combustion. 

OK, I'm taking a deep breath and getting a grip. I've managed to get a hold of my husband who is camping in the Osarks for his large family reunion and not on our trip to hell. I cried my sad song out to him, probably sounding insane, but his calm understanding soothed my nerves and he assured me that this is just about past me and we are about to start the fun. I certainly hope so. After a glass of Rose and the start of a white wine (slight aside, it is wonderful how they have lovely wines at the airport in Paris) I wonder where my parents are, our co-travelers, who we left in the heat of the waiting area, I wonder if they were too scared to join us as my red eyes flared in exhaustion and furry. I hope they haven't died in their chairs having fallen asleep, unable to seek out water, too overwhelmed to save themselves. What? They are getting older... and I can be scary. I wonder if I should go look for them. I wonder if I leave this protected nook if I will break the spell and the hell of this scheisse situation will flood back around me. Ya, better to stay put and have more wine. They are probably fine. And at least if I'm "fuzzy" feeling I can laugh when they inevitably tell me the last flight of the day to Berlin is delayed...and then cancelled.