Well, how's everyone hanging in out there? For me, I've been in quarantine since Mar 13th, when things started to get real here in New Mexico...at least for me. I didn't talk about it because not much was really known at that time and the craziness hadn't struck, but I had been in NYC...at an event with 300+ people...I shook ALL of their hands, even hugged some...even shared glasses with them (a la "here taste mine!"). At that point they had something like 10 cases reported in the city, wow, can you believe it? With numbers they way they are now?
Anyway, I got home from that trip completely beat. I had been in CA for a wine competition and then in TX for another prior to the NYC trip and was going straight there from a conference so it made sense I was tired. I bounced immediately into work though because my calendar was already full of events and meetings. I gave a wine class at the old folks home in Taos, I touched all of the glasses, stood over them while lecturing, hugged excited patrons after the class, things that made sense then, but are alarming now.
After that I had back to back meetings with people to design the summer's activities, however I was slapped in the face somewhat suddenly with total exhaustion. I needed to pull back, I was wearing myself out...or wait, was it??? Another day went by and suddenly I had a sore throat and an ear infection (tell tale signs for hardcore sickness for me). I could feel something was taking me down. My always amazing Doctor started to monitor me with regular check ins, I was told to stay home and report ANY changes. Quickly things had changed and he requested a Covid19 test for me. At this point I was getting scared, I was deeply ill and the idea that I could have this insane virus was giving me PTSD from the time in my life previously where I was told 'you should have a will in place'.
The way the hospital had to handle the possible threat was straight out of the Twilight Zone. They met me at the car in a hazmat suit, taking me to a private area and then not allowing me to leave until several tests were done. All were an invasive shoving of swabs up my nose so far up I thought they were trying to operate on my brain...I might get that surgery I escaped a few years back after all. Then I had to wait...for days for results. During this waiting period is when things got real over here in NM and I started to panic that I may have single-handedly killed the entire population of the old folks home from that class. Here I was trying to give my grandma and her friends something special and fun to experience...and I might off 40 of them...nice move! Schools closed and businesses followed. We scrambled to figure out how to keep money rolling in, customers and employees safe... while absolute awe drifted over us as we watched this strange movie like plot unfold before us.
Thank God, my test came back negative and I just had some weird horrible bug, but it also means I've been in quarantine longer than some of you. I can't say I'm going stir crazy because I live on a gorgeous farm in the countryside...of course it is in the country, where else would it be? I don't know of big farms in the middle of a city, do you? Anything called a "farm" in the city is like a rooftop garden really...I think. OK maybe I am going a little crazy, but anyway, we have plenty of wine and space, really not that bad.
What has surprised me however, as I try to find projects and distractions, is that I am struck with an emotional slap at the oddest times. Waiting in line at the grocery store, no not to pay like we used to, outside waiting to go in, all of us cloaked in masks, and I suddenly couldn't stop the hot tears from streaming down my face. Or wondering if I should watch another episode of Tiger King even though it's 2:00am, then realizing that it absolutely does not matter because there is nothing to do tomorrow... absolutely nothing...and suddenly my wine holding hand starts to shake with silent sobs. Or taking my clothes off to finally shower and seeing that my already plump body is getting plumper and that I have to put the bag of cookies down in order to actually get IN the shower... a deeply depressing moment.
I hope you all are weathering the storm alright. I look forward to the time when we can enjoy wine in each other's presence again, probably not going to let people drink out of my glass or excessively hug people anymore and that does make me super sad, but I'll take the win to leave home and see you face to face. After all, I never want to wonder if I just killed all the old people ever again.
* For entertainment during lockdown, please tune in to "A Fern Between Us: Emotional Sanitizer Wine Show" from Vivac Winery's Facebook Live, Thursdays at 5:00pm. It's a little wine tasting, a little Q&A and a whole lot of fun!
Don't forget, no matter how weird this world gets, Wine First!
